oh no i dropped my motivation and have no desire to pick it up
Okay never say that period pains aren’t that bad because one time I had an ovarian cyst that burst before they found it, and when the doctor saw how big it was, he asked me, “How were you not screaming in pain?”
And my response was, “Oh, I thought they were just cramps.”
my best friend turned to me the other day and said “there was a tweet i saw that had 420 on it and I wanted to reply with blaze it but I couldn’t” and I asked her why not and she said “because the tweet was that 420 minor fires in bushland areas had been neutralised by the emergency services”
sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis
a guy at school today was wearing this damn fine red nail polish and I heard these two girls whispering angrily and looking in his direction so I listened in expecting them to be weird about it and the first thing I hear is “how the HELL did he get it so good did he get it professionally done or something you need to ask him where he found that colour jesus fucking christ are you KIDDING me”
I think this is a good example of how the world should work.
When I stopped at a crosswalk today this guy pulled up next to me, rolled his window down, and stuck his head out, and at first I was like ‘Oh no street harassment here it comes.’ but then the guy was like “DUDE! LOOK AT THAT HUGE RAINBOW BEHIND YOU.”
The only appropriate thing for a dude to shout at me out a car window.